I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
