I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
