Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
