There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
