Do you still have your period?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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