his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I will pee on everything he values.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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