I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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