We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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