You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
