You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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