there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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