id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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