It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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