that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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