Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's shark week go big or go home
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
