Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
