you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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