i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
