ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
