I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
