Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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