I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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