Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
