Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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