Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
