I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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