Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
