How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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