I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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