No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You made out with two different species that night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
