There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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