we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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