i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
