My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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