I got chris browned last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So many bounce houses so little time
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
