as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
