Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
