i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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