Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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