i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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