I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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