id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
