I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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