no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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