Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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