it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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