I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
