My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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