i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
