marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have demons in me.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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