Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I love you.
Bad choice
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