I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
